You Aren't My Friend.

I forgot the rubric to make a beautiful sound,
Because nothing here is beautiful anymore
I tried to capture my tears in a bottle
But the beer got in the way
And nothing brings delight
I just try and forget
Forget you, forget us
Forget that maybe

How did Cupid skip you and hit me right in the back
And I didn't see it coming, I think that's the worst part
No. The worst part is you acting like you don't give a fuck
That's the hardest part of this
That I could be left on the side of the road and you wouldn't come save me
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So back to the closet I go to get out my cape again
Cuz God forbid I take a break and let someone else save me for once
Who can you depend on if it isn't yourself.
And fuck grammar, and fuck rage
And fuck not finally getting what you want
And living for a fairy tale that doesn't want a white horse
To make their big entrance
The hero called Coward.

And I can't stay angry at you
Though, Christ, I really want to
I know you'll sweep into my world with a plastic smile
And I'll let you hurt my feelings again
Because I will never be that strong bitch I wanna be
I can never be more than easy, doormat, me

How can you lie so easily, how can you walk away from me without a scratch?
With that confident smile, of hey baby, we're just friends
You aren't my friend.
You aren't my enemy.
You are just a thing.
A fantasy.
A reminder that I can be hurt.
'And good riddance' my brain keeps telling me
But my heart screams, 'why'd you fuck up, girl?
You could have been all he ever needed
Now neither of you will ever know'

Like a bird I am just waiting to know where to build my nest
I want to be allowed to create something secure for an 'Us'
But where is my right suitor?
When I close my eyes you haunt my dreams
And even in dream you hurts me
Even in dream you treats me like a pity case
And you'll never be real with me
Because you're too busy pretending you have an impenetrable back
Fuck your carefree attitude
Fuck you. Yes, I said, Mister, fuck you