Your eyes wandered from my face
And I played with the eggs on my plate
Thinking this wasn't how I remembered it
How I felt so comfortable
With only you there
As quiet as we had to be
And were the real wrongs with you or with me
Can you possibly miss me the way I am missing you
Or was I just more sentimental than you
I still have the mug I got you for your birthday sitting on my shelf
Waiting for you to come around
And I am moving on
Allowing the thin dust you placed on my shoulders
To be brushed away by his thumb
My tears to be soaked into his pillow
And is this how it feels to transfer love
Will I ever fully let go of you without sending you away completely
Because this pit yearns for you
And I feel so stupid for allowing this to happen to us
Our misplaced trust, the friendship built on lies
Because we couldn't admit our true feelings
Now you have her, and he has me,
But you still have me, do I still have a piece of you?
*******************************
And i breathe in the scent you left behind
holding on to that hole i have inside
because you couldn't do what i needed you to do
though i begged you to try
and i'm waiting for you to hurt me again
i'm almost baiting you
so i can crumble in front of you
waiting here again in this empty shell of a heart
hoping you might change your mind
and ask me to stay
and would i?
we've had so much time to decide
and we're still a million miles away
from home
and there was a time i'd drop it all
like a coin into a wishing well
like a goodbye kiss
blown to a lover on a departing train
tears would well if i gave them a chance
and i'm lost in the blame
running away from our mess
the pillow curls beneath my arms
i pretend it is you
and the heat from my body is pulling me into the mattress,
and maybe i'll sink so deep I never recover
and i'm lost in our dream
though it's all make believe
until there is nothing else of me
But a lowly ambushed scream
